To impress someone, a poem

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Submitted by Bacti on Sun, 07/06/2008 at 7:25pm.

Gazer

I gaze up at the stars and hope

That you would come back

Or maybe it is impossible

To pick up all this slack.

I wish and I hope

To hold your hand someday

I’ve been to shallow to you,

These games are just too hard to play.

I’ll be there I swear,

When we cross hearts again

I’d wait centuries to see you,

I would never again have pain.

When I roamed, I roamed alone

I was invaded right to the bone.

To see your eyes the world lights up,

And I will always stand up.

I'm trying to impress a girl with my imagination. Do you think this poem would work? Show your opinions!

» posted in Bacti's Blog

| 82 reads | 4 comments

Comments:

by Bacti - 2 months ago
NYC United States

Member Since: Jul 2008
Member Points: 11

....not to mention the fact that i wrote the poem in like 15 minutes....

by Memory-Infection - 2 months ago
Singapore

Member Since: Jan 2008
Member Points: 51

Maybe if you didn't restrict yourself to rhyming words it would be better. Still, good effort!

by Bacti - 2 months ago
NYC United States

Member Since: Jul 2008
Member Points: 11

-_-' youre kinda full of yourself, you know?

by BoobyFisher8008 - 3 months ago
VA United States

Member Since: Jun 2008
Member Points: 346

That poem will not get you the girl most likely. Son if you need a poem write to me and I'll write you one. She'll probably ask you to marry her after she hears it.

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