Chess and Coolness: Concepts at odds.
Submitted by
dommy on Mon, 04/14/2008 at 5:05am.
Why is it that a five move combination beginning with a queen sacrifice and ending with a smothered knight mate is not cool? At what point in history did the motorbike become cool, and chessboards fall by the wayside? Why is it that 64 alternately coloured squares can ostracise a whole group of people from their desire to be ‘in’, to be part of the hip-happening scene?
Where I live (Australia), skateboarding is way cool. Those few skilled skaters who do kick flips and pop-shuvits (their term, not mine), while not always gaining the respect of society as a whole; at least have a reputation of being cool. Why is this?
Image. Pick any group of teenagers, and it doesn’t take long to figure out which one the skater is. He (or she) has got the tight jeans, the big shoes, the punk belt, the immaculate shirt, the badass haircut and often scars and grazes all over their battered body. Their own image precedes their ability as a skater, and that image is a social stereotype for being cool. This example isn’t just true of skateboarders. Look at motorcycle riders, pilots (those aviators ARE just for looks), even blues guitarists. All of these types of people are definitely cool.
So why is chess failing in the cool ratings? No image! Imagine, if you will, your local high school cafeteria or corner coffee shop. Suddenly a chess player walks in. You know they’re a chess player. How? Those black-rimmed glasses give it away. The comb-over haircut, the starched white shirt, the black trousers with a crease ironed in. All these things scream CHESS PLAYER! at the top of their lungs. All of a sudden, chess players globally who conform to this dress codes have shown that they are different from everyone else. Their uniform identifies them as a strategic master, a cavalier with the shiny Stauntons. They have transformed themselves into the very epitome of coolness.
Hang on, I can hear you saying. It sounds an awful lot like we’re stealing the classic nerd’s image! You would be correct, and this is the beauty of my plan. By making the chess player’s uniform that of the classic nerd, we not only boost our own image but that of all nerds everywhere! Killing two birds with one stone, the equivalent of the brave knight forking the king and queen. The chess player’s day will arrive, and a new era will begin in chess/coolness relations!
So, for the benefit of your own image, and that of your fellow nerd, show your true colours! Dress to impress and you cannot fail!