Kissing, the greatest sport
Submitted by
nasan on Fri, 07/04/2008 at 11:27pm.
Every now and then a quarrel breaks out down at the barber shop, lines are drawn, challenges leveled and, with any luck, somebody walks out with very few blood stains. All over a seemingly innocent discussion: What is the greatest sport on Earth?
Some say "football". Some say "baseball". Canadians say "hockey". The rest of the world says "soccer". (Actually, they say "football", too... but they mean "soccer".)
I say "kissing". Yes, kissing is the greatest sport on Earth. Allow me to explain just a few of the reasons.
Kissing is the most versatile sport around. There are so many types of kisses to choose from - at least one for just about any occasion. There is the quick peck on the cheek kiss, the peck on each cheek kiss, the peck on your nephew's cheek kiss while grabbin' the other cheek flab with your hand, the dreaded kiss of death, and even the Florida town of Kissimmee (founded, no doubt, by early Italian pioneer kissers.)
The art of kissing
Kissing is easy to transport. It really doesn't matter where you are. You can kiss at the gym, in the boardroom, in the space shuttle, even in Alaska from june through September.
Kissing requires so little equipment, which means you can do it even when not prepared for the occasion, and even when you have to traval light. This makes it the ideal participation sport for businessmen, world travelers and marsupial groupies.
Kissing always livens things up. Try this: the next time you're in an oh-so boooring meeting that seems to last oh-so-forever, why not just kiss somebody? Go ahead, try it!
Kissing is legal in most earth-bound countries. Rumours are circulating that kissing will even be legalized soon on Mars, Jupiter and...in Afghanistan!?!
Kissing is 100% biodegradable, so when you kiss somebody, you help improve the environment!
Kissing is non-toxic...Even so, kissing is still safe, as long as you do not use your mouth.
Kissing is non-fattening. This is perhaps the best news of all, because dieters now have something to keeps their mouths busy while not eating, and smokers can quit smoking without havin' to chew candies until they need to diet or induce diabetes.
You can kiss just about everyone: your boyfriend, your aunt, your wife,... Don't try kissing them all at the same time though... especially not your boyfriend and your wife!