u know, i do not read chuck norris jokes, so, how do i erase this thing off my profile then???

One day a college proffessor was greeting his new college class. He stood up in front of the class and asked if anyone in the class was a moron, and if they were, they should stand. After a minute a young man stood up. The professor then asked the
kid if he actually thought he was a moron. The kid replied, 'No, I just didn't want to see you standing there all by yourself'

Chuck Norris doesn't play "hide-and-seek." He plays "hide-and-pray-I-don't-find-you."

Chuck Norris once tried to defeat Garry Kasparov in a game of chess. When Norris lost, he won in life by roundhouse kicking Kasparov in the side of the face.

Although it is not common knowledge, there are actually three sides to the Force: the light side, the dark side, and Chuck Norris.

In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.

Contrary to popular belief, there is indeed enough Chuck Norris to go around.

There is endless debate about the existence of the human soul. Well it does exist, and Chuck Norris finds it delicious.

• Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris
  once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle
  was six feet tall and had learned karate.

Chuck Norris invented Kentucky Fried Chicken's famous secret recipe,
with eleven herbs and spices. But nobody ever mentions the twelfth
ingredient: Fear.

The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.

Chuck Norris writes half of the jokes on this site, he likes his fans to be informed

In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.

Chuck Norris can hit you so hard that he can actually alter your DNA. Decades from now your descendants will occasionally clutch their heads and yell "What The Hell was That?"

Chuck Norris once picked a fight with a duck. The duck turned out to have several 10th degree blackbelts, and was the most formidable adversary Chuck Norris ever faced. Funny how random the universe can be.

Chuck Norris affects the price of stock quotes and land values. Wherever he is, prices drop due to the danger of a sudden catastrophe. He bought his own home for 30 cents and one roundhouse kick.

What was going through the minds of Chuck Norris' victims before they died? His shoe.

When Chuck Norris gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.

If you spell Chuck Norris wrong on Google it doesn't say, "Did you mean Chuck Norris?" It simply replies, "Run while you still have the chance."