Chess Charm School

Submitted by JerryHobby on Wed, 12/03/2008 at 12:59pm.

I have recently been paying attention to the distinctly different personalities of chess players. Of course you have the arrogant players. Smart people have a tendency to be arrogant. I'm one of those arrogant smart people to some degree. Then there are those with false humility, always pretending they are worse than they are. Cool. Lots of different types. I enjoy the diversity. I will say that nice people are more fun than the condescending ones, but that goes without saying.

Digging deaper into the topic, I've been noticing that I'm afraid to type stuff into chat windows, or when I do, I do so very cautiously. It seems to me that some people are easily annoyed by what's said in the chat window. My father and I have been discussing this. He doesn't really enjoy chatting, but an occassional message is ok. He does not like it when someone comments on his moves. I'm sure when he makes a mistake it drives him nuts when the opponent says, "HA! You blew it! You lost your queen!"

Personally, I enjoy chatting in the room. Sometimes just getting to know the other person ... sometimes commenting on the game. Never offensive, never taunting the other player, but perhaps a comment or two. Maybe even a warning about what I plan to do next. Is it wrong to say, "Be careful here, I'm going to force a draw if you let me."?

But what comes up for me time and time again is, "What is the proper etiquette in a chess game?" I don't play in any clubs so I don't have the social training around chess. Are there rules? Is it wrong to discuss the game? Is it wrong to talk at all? I certainly understand that different people are offended by different things ... but what are the generally accepted rules in chess? If I played in a tournament and spoke to my opponent, would I be given a "yellow card"? If I taunted my opponent, would I be run out by bouncers with pocket protectors?

Let me know. What are the rules of etiquette. What's considered desirable, acceptable, tolerable, and intolerable. I wanna know!!!

PS: If you fail to answer this question, I will taunt you in our next game. :-)

» posted in JerryHobby's Blog

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Comments:

by erik - 11 months ago
Mountain View, CA United States

Member Since: May 2007
Member Points: 9964

great questions! i think it all depends entirely on the existing relationship.

by 4tunate - 11 months ago
Louisiana United States

Member Since: Sep 2008
Member Points: 126

As far as formal tournaments, my experience is there is little conversation during a tournament game. Sometimes I have gone back with the player and we replay the game and talk quite abit.

But, on chess.com, it just depends on you play. Jerry, my brother, and I taunt each other quite a bit. But that's ok, our games are for fun. When we played in a tournament together, the banter reduced somewhat.

Most games, besides the greeting and the congratulatory remarks, I comment very little.

by Dozy - 11 months ago
Blue Mountains Australia

Member Since: Aug 2007
Member Points: 2141

Hi Jerry,

There are rules for tournaments, and socially accepted behavour for the rest of our play. And what's socially acceptable in one place may be verboten in another.

In serious, but non-tournament, club play my experience has been that there is frequently conversation between the players, often relating to the game and the various options. Since you're unlikely to be playing somebody you dislike in such a game the conversation is usually friendly.

Blitz is something else again. Lots of fun. Lots of banter -- much of it insulting, in a friendly way -- as comments are hurled back and forth across the board.

Chess.com games seem to lie somewhere between the two. After the initial greeting I usually only comment in reply to an opponent, or if something interesting, or amusing, crops up on the board. (Playing with somebody from my "friends list" is another matter and there can be a lot of chatter.)

Basically, it doesn't matter very much. Just enjoy the conversation and, if you overstep the mark, be sure somebody will let you know about it.

And, of course, if somebody offends you there is always the ultimate weapon: you can write a blog post about it -- without naming the guy, of course. One guy I played was both unresponsive and slow and I let him irritate me a bit, but I got an interesting post out of it. His was the second game in Through the Needle's Eye.

Should you and I play a game, feel free to taunt me as much as you like. It's been done before and I have very thick skin.

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