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If Only

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Submitted by RedSoxpawn on Sun, 08/16/2009 at 7:05pm.

If Only

 

If I could only

Only what you ask

If I could only imagine

Imagine what, the pain you feel

The love you feel

If’s so many ifs in life

 

If I could only share

Share what you wonder

Share the intellect you have

The peace I know

Respect I have and love I know

If only, if only I could

Then something good could happen

 

If only I could wash away your fears

And keep you happy

If only I could answer your calls

If only I could hold you like a lover should

If only, if only,

If only I could

» posted in MY WRITING KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF, EYES ONLY
| 268 reads | 23 comments
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Comments:

by wolf_child14 - 14 days ago
Louisiana United States
Member Since: May 2008
Member Points: 346

A very, very good poem

by Madison12345 - 46 days ago
McKinney United States
Member Since: Jul 2009
Member Points: 825

The poem is sweet. Just a couple suggestions: do not be afraid to use puntuations other than commas. When you say "Only what you ask," It gets confusing. Don't forget you can use exclamation points, question marks, periods, and commas in the middle of lines. So try "If only what, you ask" and "Imagine what, the pain you feel?" And when you are rhyming, try a period every 4 rhymes. These are just suggestions to make your poems look and sound better and be a bit less confusing. These are simply suggestions and you by no means have to take my advice.

by RedSoxpawn - 3 months ago
Birmingham, Alabama United States
Member Since: Nov 2007
Member Points: 24770

Thank you duch

by duchess2000 - 3 months ago
new york city United States
Member Since: May 2009
Member Points: 34

Very insightful leftySmile

by CupcakewithSprinkles - 3 months ago
California United States
Member Since: Feb 2009
Member Points: 7324

kk

by RedSoxpawn - 3 months ago
Birmingham, Alabama United States
Member Since: Nov 2007
Member Points: 24770

I made the comment about keep watching for updates to everybody, it's sortof like a public notice

by CupcakewithSprinkles - 3 months ago
California United States
Member Since: Feb 2009
Member Points: 7324

I don't get it , what do you mean?

by RedSoxpawn - 3 months ago
Birmingham, Alabama United States
Member Since: Nov 2007
Member Points: 24770

that wasn't just to you

by CupcakewithSprinkles - 3 months ago
California United States
Member Since: Feb 2009
Member Points: 7324

ok I will

by RedSoxpawn - 3 months ago
Birmingham, Alabama United States
Member Since: Nov 2007
Member Points: 24770

thanks, it's a work in progress keep checkin on it every now and then

by CupcakewithSprinkles - 3 months ago
California United States
Member Since: Feb 2009
Member Points: 7324

more awesomer !!

by RedSoxpawn - 3 months ago
Birmingham, Alabama United States
Member Since: Nov 2007
Member Points: 24770

thank you ccws

by CupcakewithSprinkles - 3 months ago
California United States
Member Since: Feb 2009
Member Points: 7324

its awesome ^^

by RedSoxpawn - 3 months ago
Birmingham, Alabama United States
Member Since: Nov 2007
Member Points: 24770

thanks mandy

by brownielover994 - 3 months ago
miami United States
Member Since: Aug 2009
Member Points: 183

nice poem red, i like it! =)

by RedSoxpawn - 3 months ago
Birmingham, Alabama United States
Member Since: Nov 2007
Member Points: 24770

yeah

by Heejo - 3 months ago
Boxtel Netherlands
Member Since: Oct 2008
Member Points: 3828

this feels as if it's about cc, but yet.. nevermind its awesome

by THE_GRIMACE - 3 months ago
youngstown, ohio United States
Member Since: Jun 2009
Member Points: 4156

lol, welcome to my world, where poetry has unknown meanings

by RedSoxpawn - 3 months ago
Birmingham, Alabama United States
Member Since: Nov 2007
Member Points: 24770

wow three comments in less minutes. I'm not sure if it's about cc or not, really It just sortof came out of nowhere. thanks donna. And bad, good could mean anything that applies to what the person reading wants

by Heejo - 3 months ago
Boxtel Netherlands
Member Since: Oct 2008
Member Points: 3828

very nice, and a great meaning to it your getting a 9,9/10 haha

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