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name

agony, despair. no name. no gender. no identity. only pain. not alone. others around. chorus of pain. smell of flesh burning, buried in that smell. fire stripping away everything. pain, unimaginable pain. no name, no gender, no identity. reaching through a mass of screams. sensing a presence. burning agony, screams for release, begging for the end. no end, no name, no gender, no identity. only pain, unbearable pain. something, someone close by. freedom from this fire. others begging for mercy an end to this horror. he passes over, crushing outstretched hands that turn to cinders. pleas for mercy, cries of innocence, flames burning, unbearable pain. she calls out his name. he turns....

Comments


  • 14 months ago

    KeViN246

    damn irish

  • 14 months ago

    Bodhidharma

    who dropped the napalm ?

  • 17 months ago

    KeViN246

    thanks, just a picture in my head

  • 17 months ago

    justforfriendship

    [COMMENT DELETED]
  • 17 months ago

    Norfolkandgood

    Sounds like the start of a novel, which looks interesting. It could be imporved a little, by varying the sentence type- use some complex and compound sentences, and keep the short ones for the emphasis of really scary parts. Try not to use the same word twice in the same sentence- as in the smell used twice in the second line, otherwise, you build suspense very well. Hope this is constructive and helps.

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