The Feeling of Losing

Submitted by paolodm on Tue, 01/01/2008 at 9:25am.

Is it just me or is losing a game much more ego-crushing and depressing than the feeling of winning? When I win a game against a tough opponent, I feel happy for like 10 minutes then it wears off. But if I lose a game, that feeling can stay with me for the whole night!

Over the weekend, I played at the Eastern Open 2007 blitz tournament. Going to the last round, I won my match against GM Ivanov. Going into the last round leading the tournament, all I needed was to get 1 out of 2 in the match to win first place and $400. But I lost both of my games, and was up-on-the-wall the whole night!

The demoralizing effect of one defeat (to me at least) is like the elation of winning 5 games.

Paolo

» posted in paolodm's Blog

| 678 reads | 10 comments

Comments:

by oldsalt7 - 6 months ago
India

Member Since: Jun 2007
Member Points: 27

I guess it all boils down to what level of player you are. If one is high up on the rating scale then losing sure sucks! It is easier for a middle order patzer like myself to take losses in his stride!

by PawnFork - 6 months ago
St. Louis United States

Member Since: Nov 2007
Member Points: 323

Yup, generally speaking, losses stay with you a lot longer than wins. The good news is that this can help your focus while studying, if you are wont to obsess (I am).

by direwolfe - 6 months ago
Princeton, NJ United States

Member Since: Nov 2007
Member Points: 43

I never feel so bad about losing in chess as I do about other sports (and I consider chess a sport in this sense). Everything is a learning experience. It can be very hard to tell why I am playing badly at baseball or tennis unless someone else is paying close attention. You can always figure out where a chess game went wrong and learn from it.

by FM paolodm - 7 months ago
Virginia United States

Member Since: Oct 2007
Member Points: 104

SEShipper,

That's true! I remember that was taught in my psychology class back in college.

Paolo

by SEShipper - 7 months ago
Connecticut United States

Member Since: Dec 2007
Member Points: 1

Psychologists would tell us that, for most of us, the pain of a loss is much greater than the joy of a gain. It is how we are wired somehow. The challenge is not to let this fact change our approach to the game.

by KevinLovesChess - 7 months ago
Oklahoma City United States

Member Since: Dec 2007
Member Points: 20

That's what rematches are for...

by hutter - 7 months ago
Russia, Livny Russia

Member Since: Aug 2007
Member Points: 60

a blow is a blow but we all RECOVER, and this is more important than losing any game

by cofoppyplop - 7 months ago
Dayton, WA United States

Member Since: Oct 2007
Member Points: 10

It has a lot to do with expectations, pride and the amount of effort vested in the goal. When you set out to play, you set out to win, then if you do win it is in tune with your expectations so all is right in the world and there's no need to pay further attention to it. A loss is seen as an intolerable abomination like a harmful bug in the body and causes rumination about what went wrong and how a victory should have been attained. I constantly remind myself that it's just a game so I don't get too high or too low. Losing streaks are still a pain though.

by FREEPAWN - 7 months ago
sambod Cambodia

Member Since: Dec 2007
Member Points: 103

lol well i suppose i agree with you, i can remember the horrible feelings that came along with the loss of a important game. Winning only lasts around half an hour for me than im ready to move on and focusing on my next game but if i lose then i have a terrible feelings pulsate through me for the rest of the tourny or the rest of the day!

by Spike_Mason - 7 months ago
United States

Member Since: Oct 2007
Member Points: 245

I'm not so sure I agree with you. The way I see it, you felt bad longer because you lost your most recent game, and later feelings last longer. If, for example, you had lost a streak of 10 games or more and were feeling really crappy, and then suddenly won one against a player rated 200+ points higher than you, then you would be ecstatic for a long time. Don't think I'm an expert though, because I'm not.

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